


looking for wonderland

by aphantasiac



Series: what's going on? [1]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sense8, F/F, Hearing Voices, Lesbian AU, Tags Are Hard, if u havent seen sense8 you need to, jackie is trying to make it big in theater, nobody asked for this but here it is, title is from alice by lady gaga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24819223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphantasiac/pseuds/aphantasiac
Summary: The lyrics are softly sung by a beautiful voice that slowly overcomes the silence and seeps into Jackie's ears. When she hears it, she thinks it's just another sound. A voice her head has created, a product of her imagination seeping into the world. But then it doesn't sound like its source is in her head. It sounds real and present and causes Jackie to look over her book. And there's a girl, propped up on the counter of her kitchen. Her eyes are closed and she drags a purple brush through long blonde hair, and her mouth is producing that lovely sound.She's pretty, Jackie thinks, before it settles in her head that there's a stranger in her apartment.--the sense8 au no one asked for
Relationships: Jackie Cox/Jan Sport, Jan Sport/Jackie Cox
Series: what's going on? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796596
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	looking for wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> hi, i'm back! i've been m.i.a. for a little while, sorry about that! i got a job and just have been a little busy trying to get my shit together haha. i'll try to get those other stories updated, but for now, here's this!  
> a sense8 au because i've been obsessed recently. if you havent seen sense8, you really should, it's an amazing show! not sure if this is gonna be a series or a multichapter story yet, not even sure if i'll continue, but if you guys like it maybe i will!!  
> anyways, enjoy!

Jackie's loosing her mind.  
  
At least, she thinks she is. There's no other explanation for what she's experienced in the past few days. Nothing logical, at least, that she can think of. It started with a clicking noise. Loud, sharp, in time with her steps while she walked early in the morning on the way back to her apartment from the coffee shop she frequently visits. It sounded like heels, and she assumed it was her own. She had stopped walking, but the noise persisted. Not a single person around was in heels, and a source of the noise didn't stop.  
  
Jackie didn't think much of it then, chalked it up to one of the nearby shops doing something that caused that sound. But she continued to hear things. Things that she couldn't explain so easily. Cars passing when the streets are empty and the city briefly rests. The scratching of pencils on paper when she's applying makeup in the morning. French words that she barely understands, chattering away while she reads her books on the couch. Even a chicken once, it's loud clucking distracting her and causing her to pour the boiled water for her tea all over the kitchen counter.   
  
She always somehow reasoned it to herself. A stay car on the road. A television left on in the living room. Her neighbors perhaps being bilingual and speaking loud enough to be heard through the wall. The chicken clucks was harder to explain, but she told herself there had to be a logical reason.   
  
The breaking point was the music.   
  
It was the middle of the night, and Jackie stayed up late practicing lines for the upcoming show she finally scored a role in. The brunette settles herself in bed, and her body sinks into the mattress like it's made of brick. Her body weighs down with exhaustion, and she's glad to finally get to rest. Her eyes close, and she lets out a soft sigh in the silent darkness of her room. And then, there's music.  
  
It's soft at first. A steady thumping in her head. The music progressively grows louder and she can hear the music loud an clear in only a minuet or so. It sounds like a club, a mix of popular songs and beats combined that would likely make her want to dance if she wasn't trying to sleep. Her face scrunches up and she tries to cover her ears with her hands, and then a pillow, and the music doesn't show mercy.  
  
"Fucking neighbor kids." Jackie mumbles angrily.  
  
The covers are pushed off and Jackie stands, walks out of her bedroom first and then out of the front door in a cream sweater and black shorts. The music doesn't get louder, doesn't get softer, stays the same thumping volume the whole way to her neighbors door. Jackie knocks a couple of times. There's no answer, so she knocks again, louder, harder, and waits for someone to answer. She's about to knock again when she hears the locks turning.   
  
The door opens and the music stops and Jackie stares into the face of a woman that looks twice her age.  
  
"Yes?" The woman asks expectantly.  
  
Jackie blinks. "I heard some loud music. Just- was it you?"   
  
She already knows the answer, but the woman confirms with a shake of her head.  
  
"No hun," She replies, "I didn't hear any music."  
  
Jackie bites the inside of her cheek. "Must be my imagination. Sorry to wake you."  
  
The woman gives a polite smile but Jackie can see the annoyance under it. She would be annoyed too if someone came knocking at her door in the middle of the night for a stupid reason like her own. The door clicks shut in front of Jackie and she lets out a heavy sigh as she trudges back towards her door.  
  
"I'm going insane."  
  
\- - -  
  
Jackie likes her books and she likes her tea and she likes her logic. There's an explanation for everything, she believes.  
  
There's no more loud music but she continues to hear weird things that don't have an obvious source. It drives her crazy, if she isn't already. It happens more often as the next day goes by, and these odd sounds are accompanied by feelings. When she hears a sad song in her head during rehearsal and starts to cry for no apparent reason, the director sends her home for the day.  
  
Maybe it's for the best, she tells herself. The theater is important but she knows she can't be at top performance if she can't even control her own emotions. The role is too important to loose. A castmate suggests some rest and Jackie thinks they may be right.  
  
The couch becomes her resting place for the day. It's a dark brown color and it's soft, and the decorative pillows are plush and soft and it feels nice to curl up there. A fresh mug of tea in a _I Dream Of Jeannie_ mug steams beside her and the air smells like chamomile. Her fingers bend the corners of her newest poetry book, gives it personality, and the silence that settles over the place is calming.   
  
_"My name isn't Alice, but i'll keep looking, i'll keep looking for Wonderland."_  
  
The lyrics are softly sung by a beautiful voice that slowly overcomes the silence and seeps into Jackie's ears. When she hears it, she thinks it's just another sound. A voice her head has created, a product of her imagination seeping into the world. But then it doesn't sound like its source is in her head. It sounds real and present and causes Jackie to look over her book. And there's a girl, propped up on the counter of her kitchen. Her eyes are closed and she drags a purple brush through long blonde hair, and her mouth is producing that lovely sound.  
  
She's pretty, Jackie thinks, before it settles in her head that there's a stranger in her apartment.  
  
"Who are you?"   
  
The girl's eyes open, and sparkly grey-blue eyes stare back at her. And then look around frantically. And then land back on her.  
  
"What the- where am I?"  
  
Its not the answer Jackie's looking for. "How'd you get in here?"  
  
The blonde looks lost, confused, just the same as Jackie does. It conflicts with the initial fear of having a stranger in her apartment. It could be an act, a way of getting Jackie to let her guard down so she can rob her. However, Jackie's door is closed and locked, and this girl looks genuinely scared.  
  
"I don't know where I am." The strange girl breathes.  
  
"Hell's Kitchen." Jackie answers, placing her book down on the couch beside her and slowly standing. "In my apartment."  
  
"In New York?"   
  
Jackie nods.  
  
"That's not-" The girl bites her lip  
  
"I was just in New Jersey."  
  
That doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense. Jackie is staring at the girl while she hops down from the counter, lands steadily on her feet and looks around. She dares to take a step towards Jackie, but her eyes are looking out the open window, as if to confirm that she is in fact in New York.   
  
"Who are you?" Jackie asks again.  
  
The blonde's eyes are back on Jackie. "My name is-"  
  
"- _Jan._ "  
  
The name comes out of both of their mouths at the same time, shocks them both. Jackie furrows her brows, but Jan's mouth curves up slightly.  
  
"How do you know my name?" Jan asks this time.  
  
Jackie honestly doesn't have an answer. She's never seen this girl in her life. She's never heard her name before. Hell, Jackie hadn't ever met someone named Jan until that moment. With a pretty face like that, Jackie is sure she'd remember. But she doesn't know how she knows. She just _knows_.  
  
A heavy silence falls over them, and Jackie doesn't like it. She tries to remove it.  
  
"I like your sing-"  
  
"What?"   
  
Jan cuts her off, turns her head as if someone else was speaking to her. Jackie turns to look in the same direction, and there's no one there. It's just them. Or maybe not, because when Jackie looks back, Jan is gone. The confusion in Jackie only grows as she steps forwards, until she standing in the same spot as the blonde once was. She looks around, behind the counter, in the bathroom near by, even in her own bedroom. There's no trace of blonde hair and blue eyes, and Jackie ends up back in the same spot.  
  
"Jan." She whispers to her self, and shakes her head. "I'm going fucking crazy."


End file.
